Sometimes we need to take a step back and look at where we are in life. How much have I accomplished? Is this where I want to be? Where is my life going? Am I just going through the motions? Have I lived a life worth living?
These are the questions we ask ourselves to measure our lives. Did you do what you wanted to do or did you do what was safe? Playing it safe can only get you so far. It’s the people with vision that create history, that make changes in the world, that own their future. Pursuing your own dream may feel like such a big risk so you tell yourself to put it off for later. Then later comes and you still feel insecure about doing what you truly want to do. Then one day you wake up and you realize you’ve let your life pass you by. Allow me to leave you with one last question for self-assessment; one that I personally have asked myself time and time again through the years.
“If I don’t let myself be happy now then when;
if not now when?”
Such a scary game – selling your home. Your two possible fears: not selling high enough and not selling at all. There is a good chance that this will be the biggest transaction of your life. We’re also talking about selling your home. All the memories you’ve had. She was there for you in the good times and the bad – home-sweet-home. Interestingly enough though the market itself also has its good times and bad. So who do you trust with such high-stakes on the line? Not to worry; you hire an expert – your real estate agent! Of course she’s on your side. She knows the value of comparable homes, she knows the market up and down, she even knows the buyer’s frame of mind, and the best part? She works off commission! Perfect – your goals are aligned! The higher she sells the more you both make! Or so you are told…
As much as I try to dismiss it I can’t. What does it mean? I’ve become an addict to the enigma. Leading a lonely life full of selfish decisions and much regret, it seems the night summons my inner demons to haunt my every thought. My long measures of chaotic insanity are disrupted only by gloomy occurrences of miserable solitude. Sleep would be my only escape; how I yearn for it. My conscience won’t allow it.
The short refuge from this life long torment, my rare state of nirvana comes solely from random episodes of paralysis. The dream is always the same. My senses convince me it’s real; logic demands otherwise. Am I dreaming? What if I’m not? Maybe then reality is just my nightmare? If a dream is as colorful as reality how then does one make the distinction?
In the dream I am plagued by the question. I’m obsessed with it. The brilliant minds since the beginning have disputed over it and still to no avail. Why must it be me that is appointed the task? Each failure, the moment I give up, leads me back to this agony. I need to know before it happens ag-
My muscles contort.
My body relapses.
My mind becomes feeble.
My vision fades to black.