Blogathon: Movie Jail Relay Race

This is my first blogathon but already it has introduced me to many other movie bloggers and fanatics such as myself and I’m glad to be a part of it. Thanks to Rae of Cutting Edge Creativity for introducing me to the idea and to Shah Shahid of BLANK PAGE BEATDOWN for passing the baton.

The Movie Jail Relay Race by My Filmviews

Now, lets just hope I don’t drop the baton…:|

The Movie Jail Relay Race was started by Nostra from My Filmviews & The Focused Filmographer, and below are the official rules:

 ”It’s time to put some movie people in jail. The object is to give a prosecutor’s argument as to why these movie people belong in “Movie Jail” whether it be for violating the integrity of the content source of one their films, or being a sell-out, just making bad movies overall, getting worse as time goes on or not being in a good movie for many years.

The baton will be passed to another blogger who will have to do the following:

In order to free someone from Movie Jail they have to do 2 things

1 – Give a defense attorney argument defending the plaintiff

2 – Pay bail: the cost of which is another case for the court and a prosecutor’s argument against the actor/director of their choice that will replace the one set free.

There must always be 10 people in Movie Jail.”

The Current Inmates:

Michael Bay

Michael Bay director of Transformers

Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer

Raja Gosnell

Katherine Heigl

Shia Labeouf

shialebeouf-profile-shot1

Eddie Murphy

Kristen Stewart

Jennifer Lopez

Damon Lindelof

Rueben Fleischer

The Participants (so far):

1. My Filmviews / The Focused Filmographer

2. Cinematic Corner

3. And So It Begins…

4. Surrender to the Void

5. Cinematic Paradox

6. The Cinematic Spectacle

7. Being Norma Jean

8. Defiant Success

9. …let’s be splendid about this

10. Lime Reviews and Strawberry Confessions

11. Aziza’s Picks

12. Flixchatter

13. i luv cinema

14. Public Transportation Snob

15. The Warning Sign

16. 3 Guys 1 Movie

17. Cutting Edge Creativity

18. BLANK PAGE BEATDOWN

19. Morally Oblogatory

*Court is now in session*

After much thought and given the current inmates the decision being made has been a very difficult one. Most of the inmates have only one or two gems on their resumes. Some don’t have any at all! And the rest haven’t made a great movie in over a decade. Clearly, there is no obvious answer for this one. Nevertheless, a decision has to be made. Therefore, I present to the court my client, Mr. Michael Bay.

Loud groans and commotion breaks out in the gallery.

*Order in the court!*

Yes, the man who ruined the memory of every little boy who grew up in the 80’s of the awesomeness that was Transformers  and destroyed it three times over and plans on doing it at least one more time. The man that plans on doing the same exact thing to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise next (as the producer). The man that pretty much took the formula of Titanic and spit out Pearl Harbor. So why am I giving him a pardon? He has been locked up since the 8th round. Defiant Success made excellent points as to why he should be behind bars. All he cares about is showing how hot hot chicks are and blowing stuff up. Story is not much of a concern for him but he has been locked up for more than half of this Movie Jail Blogathon and although there are others that have been locked up longer than him they deserve to be locked up for life; at least Michael Bay has given us at least three gems for any action junkie.

As you might be able to guess, I grew up an 80’s kid which is why I’m so offended by the atrocity that is the Transformers trilogy. And after Mr. Bay said that he is done directing Transformers it turns out that he is churning out another one starring Mark Wahlberg. (SMDH) To top it off, as I’ve mentioned already, he plans on tackling another of my favorites as a kid; the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Although, he says for now that he will not be directing it, just producing. There is no point in debating whether it will be good or bad since it’s still in pre-production. He produced the first remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and that was a pretty good remake but then again the sequel to that was awful. I digress.

Since I grew up in the 80’s that means I was a teenager in the 90’s and, as most teenage boys were, I was an action junkie. This coincided  with Michael Bay’s first three movies which were right up my alley. In 1995 he came out with Bad Boys, followed by The Rock in 1996, and in 1998 Armageddon. At this juncture of his career no one was complaining about Michael Bay’s exploitation of hot chicks and big explosions. Mainly because at least these three movies had good stories to go along with them. So before Pearl Harbor, The Island, and Transformers these three movies were constantly playing on my VCR with all my friends right there with me. There are those movies that you look back and just remember how awesome they were. In retrospect, they may not actually be as good as you  remember them but you’ll never forget how much you loved them. I know a lot of people would feel the same way about those movies especially The Rock in particular.

So Michael Bay may have committed a number of sins, but he has done his time and it is obvious that a precedence has been set that a “client’s previous body of work, makes him eligible for a pardon right away,” (-BLANK PAGE BEATDOWN) so if M. Night Shyamalan can walk so too can Michael Bay.

Hi! I’m an agent with the uh, Federal – FBI. Uh, well my, I’m Stanley Goodspeed!

*Walks to the Prosecution table*

I’m positive I’m going to be taking some heat for releasing Michael Bay but now that there is an empty cell it is time for me to make another bold claim. I hereby present to the court Mr. Bruce Willis…

GASP!

… for the murder of Lieutenant John McClane.

Like I said, I’m an action junkie. I loved the Die Hard trilogy. Still do. Yes, including part 2. I watch part 1 and 2 during the holiday season every year. John McClane put Bruce Willis on the map! He is hands down his most iconic character. Arnold is the Terminator, Sly is Rocky and Rambo, Harrison Ford is Indiana Jones and Han Solo. These characters are all iconic. Die Hard, Die Hard 2, and Die Hard with a Vengeance are all standout films. I loved them back then; I still love them today. So after twelve years pass since Die Hard with a Vengeance was released you can imagine, scratch that, you can remember how exciting it was to hear that a fourth Die Hard was coming out. I still remember that, that is until we found out it was rated PG-13. That was concerning. Then it came out and it was a huge slap in the face. The story didn’t make sense nor did it even fit the character of John McClane. The action scenes were absurd even for a Die Hard movie and the villians were just preposterous. It is never explained why these cyber-terrorists also have ninja-like skills. This movie *might* have been better if it wasn’t a Die Hard movie; it just doesn’t really fit in with the first three.

So, fine, there is a blemish in the Die Hard series. Then A Good Day to Die Hard comes along. It’s back to being rated-R and it’s supposed to bring it back to the style of the original trilogy. Now, I will admit that I didn’t see this movie and honestly I don’t think I’m going to even when it comes out on Blu-Ray. I was very skeptical from the trailers. I didn’t like that it took place in Russia (John McClane is not Ethan Hunt) and, to be honest, I didn’t trust that it would be good after Live Free. Even after five years it still left a sour taste in my mouth. So when the reviews started coming in on how awful it was I honestly was not surprised. Disappointed? Yes, but not surprised. And the reviews were just brutal. So sad.

Bruce Willis is a smart guy. I would think he would put in more care for his most beloved character. I really can’t believe he would do this to his most iconic character. It is such an insult to die hard Die Hard fans. A Good Day to Die Hard? It should have just been called, ‘Die Already.’

sincity

I now open the floor for the next case of the Movie Jail Relay Race to George Bell aka @CallMeSirPhobos from Knights Of Mars Roundtable.

Thanks for stopping by!

@Darryl_Brian

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27 thoughts on “Blogathon: Movie Jail Relay Race

  1. I might have to throw Bay right back in the clink. I’ll think on it.

    I saw the last Die Hard, and yea, it was god awful. I actually think Live Free is pretty awesome, and I could defend that one pretty well. But A Good Day to Die Hard? Piss poor, and you’re right: Willis should know better than to crap all over such an iconic action character.

    • Hey man, I won’t blame you if I did! Lol. Like I said, it was a tough decision. I felt like I was picking from the bottom of the barrel.

      I honestly don’t expect Bruce to stay locked in for long either.

      Can’t wait to see what you come up with. Keep me posted!

    • I know! So sad. There will probably be no recovery after the disaster that is “A Good Day…” but in an ideal world the last Die Hard movie would have reconciled the love between John and Holly McClane. If they’re not going to live happily ever after then what is the point of saving her life? Twice!

  2. Bruce?! Not Brucey! (He won’t stay in there long.)
    I was watching RED again yesterday, and noticed that Willis is badass… always. Also, why is everyone freakin’ out about the new DIE HARD movie? Didn’t he do LOOPER recently too which kicked ass?! (I haven’t seen either yet.)

    Personally, I think after a franchise goes beyond 3 movies, they’re pretty much ongoing without any regard for quality. And if the audience has stuck around 3+ times, then they’ll most likely watch the rest. I know I do. ALIEN, DIE HARD, STAR WARS, THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS. Even if these movies suck ass… I will watch every single one, just because the originals were good, but more importantly… fun to watch. My opinion anyways.

    Great post Darryl!

    • No, I’m sure he won’t stay long either. He does have an impressive resume. Although, I did see Looper and didn’t think it was anything special. It set different rules for time travel which I didn’t really buy.

      I agree after three it does feel like beating a dead horse. A trilogy is perfect. It has a beginning, middle, and end. After that it starts to feel like episodes that have no clear end in sight. But yes, sequels, prequels, remakes will always be made because they have an established fan base which attracts a wider audience than original stories do which translates to more $$$.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Thanks for the comment. Always fun to read your thoughts!

  3. GASP!! Bruce Willis is guilty? ha. a fun and very creative way of presenting your argument. murder!

    it has been so fun watching this relay race progress. Thanks for being a part and bringing a fun addition to the mix. Looking forward to more

    • Hey TFF,
      Thanks for starting this and I’m glad to have been a part of it! This has been fun and I also can’t wait to see where it goes from here.
      I don’t imagine Bruce Willis will be locked up for long but he deserves some time behind bars to think about what he did. Lol.
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  5. Thanks a lot for joining this Relay Race and you have made some bold choices, like that. Those three Bay movies are very cool indeed,, so you make a good point. The last two Die Hard movies weren’t very good, but Willis was good in Moonrise Kingdom. Still I do think that being in movie jail for a bit might help him to think about what McClane is all about. Can I suggest to lock him up with the first Die Hard on continuous loop?

    • I’m glad to be a part of the of it; thanks for starting it!

      Yea, I had a tough choice to make on who to let free. Those first two Michael Bay movies were produced by Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer. The duo also produced other great films such as Top Gun, Beverly Hills Cop 1 & 2, Dangerous Minds, Enemy of the State, and Crimson Tide (one of my all time personal fave’s). After Don Simpson passed away Jerry Bruckheimer continued on his own production company “Jerry Bruckheimer Films” which is still successful but I feel without Don Simpson, Bruckheimer’s action movies started to lack something (such as Con Air, Gone in Sixty Seconds, Bad Company, Bad Boys II, etc…) Don Simpson’s influence is surely missed.

      JB films does have some gems as well though – Black Hawk Down and the original Pirates of the Carribbean.

      Loved Moonrise Kingdom and I still love Bruce Willis; I’m just baffled on what he did to John McClane. Maybe he just wanted more money for some reason. Idk.

      Yes, we need to put Die Hard on repeat for him!

  6. So you’re the one who put Bruce in jail…….he wasn’t there for long. If they are gonna offer him millions to reprise his role, cant blame an old man for doing it. His legacy is still intact, and we can still watch the first Die Hard in blissful ignorance of the new ones if needs be 🙂

    • I knew he wasn’t going to last long in the slammer and I even mentioned that in an earlier comment. I never questioned his legacy. Believe me, I love Bruce. I love 12 Monkeys, The Last Boy Scout, the Die Hard Trilogy, Sixth Sense, and more. My point is John McClane is his most iconic character. You would think he would treat him with more care and integrity. If he wants to give McClane a proper ending he needs to give John McTiernan a call. I wish I could ask McTiernan what his thoughts are on what happened with McClane’s character. He probably isn’t too happy about it.

      If you’re saying Bruce did another Die Hard solely for the money than you missed the whole point of my argument. I can absolutely blame him for doing that! You really think he’s strapped for cash? I’m sorry, that is the absolute worst reason why he should do another Die Hard.

      While I remain confident in my decision, I was at the same time also throwing a future contributor a bone. I felt as though I was reaching the bottom of the barrel so I thought I would stir up the pot. Obviously, you were the one that picked it up. I just thought you would have went back to see the reason why he was thrown in instead of just arguing blindly. Maybe I expected that because that is what I did. I treated it like a court case. That is the intent of the game. I went back, read the reasons, and developed a defense. That was half the fun – playing the defense.

      “In order to free someone from Movie Jail they have to do 2 things
      1 – Give a defense attorney argument defending the plaintiff”

      The other half was playing the plaintiff. You have to understand I am a die hard Die Hard fan but I have been sorely disappointed with the last two. Since the last one was still in theaters at the time of this post my disappointment was still fresh. I found this the perfect opportunity to vent out some steam and I had a lot of fun doing it 😉

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    • Specifically for the murder of John McClane. Exhibit A: A Good Day to Die Hard – a huge slap in the face to die hard Die Hard fans. Such a sad way to go for the story of John McClane. I think Bruce needed to spend a few days in the slammer to think about what he did to his most iconic character. I knew he wouldn’t last long. Plus, at this point in the relay the choices of inmates were getting difficult so I thought I would stir up the pot. Don’t get me wrong, I love Bruce Willis, but I think my reason is justified and I still stand by it 😉

    • No, sorry, I didn’t mean to give off the wrong implication. It was just a god awful movie. That was the point of my argument – one would think Bruce would show more care for his most famed character and do a Die Hard sequel only if there was a story worthy of telling.

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